Five-Star Disability

Good day everyone!

I have a question for you… Do you fall over?

What I am asking is: if at one second you are standing, walking or sitting and then a nanosecond later you keel over for no apparent reason. Does that happen to you? Often?

You said you just tripped over a waylaid shoe in the hall by a kid too disinterested to care where their shoes landed when they kicked them off after arriving home from school. You tripped, but did you fall? Did you land on your hands and knees?

By falling: I mean that you were standing vertically, and then, bam, you are now horizontal.

Oh, no, your reply might be, I usually catch myself before I hit the ground.

So, you, to coin a phrase, “stumble-catch?” Yes, exactly, you reply excitedly! Me too, I do that everywhere.

If there is nothing around for you the grab on to before you hit the ground, do you end up on the floor? Yup, you said.

And then you’d stand up, brush the dirt off your knees and carry on. As if nothing happened.

Me? I trip, keel over, stumble-catch, sway, fall to the ground, topple over so many times a day. If I had a dollar for every fall, I’d be rich! And I’m not talking Monopoly money, I’ve got over $52,000 of these colourful, yet useless paper bills!

Sometimes I laugh at myself, sometimes get angry at my feet or legs that cannot move the right way.

Let me tell you some recent exploits:

I was leaving my mom’s house, walking up the four stairs to get to the street, when my right foot hit the edge of the step and I crashed headfirst into the rest of the stairs. My knee was bruised and bloodied, head bounced off the wall.

I was livid! As I cussed and moaned, I hauled myself up, dignity on hiatus, I was highly embarrassed! Why the hell had I tripped over something that I had done for the past 30 odd years? I have no idea!

Only, now, do I realize why, a hypothesis maybe: when I walk, my feet rarely “step up” but remain close to the ground, maybe that is to keep my balance (haha!) while I walk. The only time my feet do a major step up, is when I am,well, stepping up or down steps. Maybe I solved the riddle!

Another example, quickly, as this blog is way overdue, I fell off the two steps of my house, with a ramp! Boy was I mad! Luckily no one was around to see me fall and then get upset and beat up an innocent recycling bin!

This reminds me of a blog I did in 2019: about Jimmy Carter falling. Which never gets old!

Falling is all about: vision- not seeing clearly the step in front of me, and ataxia- which has the equilibrium is shot to hell!

Many thanks for reading, liking, sharing and supporting my blogs!