So I am working on a blog, but can’t seem to finish it or find the right connections. Frustratingly so!
I have lots of other things to write about, there is no shortage of that!
As you know, I have CAPOS, which includes a lot of fun things; including ataxia.
So that means my balance is problematic. Plus there is nerves and pain and vision issues.
Nonetheless, I am trying to put Can’t out of my vocabulary.
Last week, I moved a heavy chair from my son’s room down 13 stairs and put it in the living room. My wife and kids were also upstairs. I had asked someone to help, I asked this person four times via text. But, finally, I gave up waiting and hauled the chair downstairs. I “rolled” it down, turning it over as I went down backwards. This was quiet and I no one noticed until I was sitting in the chair watching TV.
I often load and unload the dishwasher, even through I have two kids at home and it is their job to do that.
I will haul laundry up- and downstairs.
I will move heavy things between floors in my house.
I almost always drag, push, or roll heavy things. And it is not because I can’t lift them, my strength is still there, my balance will knock me over.
So, why do I do these things?
Why did I bring the chair down?
Why do I stoop over to load the dishwasher?
Why do I carry large bags from taxi to house?
Because, I did these things for many years, I am a man right! Moving things comes is part of my job description; or it was.
I once moved a couch downstairs at another unit, and it got stuck at the bottom. It was a big couch. And I didn’t anticipate that it was become lodged at the bottom. If only I had moved the shelves before… but I was stubborn!
Finally I got it unstuck, saw the dent in the wall! Oh shit!
Both incidents my wife had told me to wait and that someone would help!
But my stubborn “I can do this” mindset got in my way!
So, there you are! I am stubborn! I need to change that mindset! It’s not that I can’t move the chair down the stairs, it is I lost my balance or my grip holding the chair. Then, being heavier, gravity would have pulled the chair down faster. I could have broke a leg, a foot, or worse, the chair, the wall!
I can do these things, if I had help.
I need to learn and accept my limitations, and work around them.
For example: I used to build things, put shelves and put coat racks on the walls. But now, I’ve stopped. Because there are so many things I take a chance, and usually succeed, at. Like: putting a set of hooks on the wall. First time I used the wrong anchor and left a big hole in the wall. Second attempt, I used the right anchor and screw, but didn’t check if there was a stud behind the wall. So, the hooks were solidly in place yes, but it would have been better if I had asked for help!
I still like to put things together, and try my best to be patient!
I guess, you can say I am a stubborn man who’s dad was a handyman. I am not much of a handyman, but I think I am handsome! My wife agrees!
All the best and stay healthy!
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