Five-Star Disability

Hey folks!

In late August I needed to get a Criminal Record Check (CRC).  I had applied to be a volunteer.  Part of the requirements of volunteering is a clean criminal record!

I don’t have any arrests, charges or even a parking ticket!  Phew!

Yet, I had a bit of a hurdle in getting the CRC.

I found out I could fill out an e-form and submit quickly, they would reply and send it back.  I filled out the form, signed it electronically, and sent it in!  Pow!  Done!

Within half an hour, I got a response: Signing this form electronically is not accepted!  Darn!  So I printed the form, having removed my e-signature, and went to my local Police Station.

When I arrived I was greeting by two women working inside a glass cage!  They had a drawer between to exchange papers.  I also spotted several video cameras!  It was very well fortified!  Why aren’t banks like this?

Anyways, I approached the glass, showed them my CRC request form.  It was obvious that the woman behind the counter was talking to me, but I signed I am Deaf.  She stood up a little straighter, probably think that my lipreading skills would overcome my deafness.  Having repeated herself, I gestured for her to write it down!

And so began the cumbersome communication: her writing something down, sliding it through the drawer, me reading, replying then sending it back through the drawer.  Awkward!

One annoying, rather funny, thing happened!  She wanted me to fill in another form, which was almost identical to the form I had filled in online and printed.  She said “Please fill in highlighted areas on this form.”

She slid back a form with only two highlighted lines: My Name and Volunteer Agency.  Under My Name was, Previous names, address, birth date, etc.  About 7 lines in total.  But they were not highlighted, so I didn’t fill them in.  I figured she would be doing that.  After all, isn’t that what my tax dollars are for?

Having completed the two highlighted areas, I slid the paper back, thinking I was done and could leave!

She came out, outside of her protective box, with the form, now emblazoned with yellow highlights!  “Please fill in all highlighted areas, this is our form.  We can’t use the e-Form,” she had written down.

Alright!  I was at first nonplussed because I had already filled out this form.  After a moments stare, I grabbed the pen and filled it in.

I gave the form to her, and she said she would email me within 4 days when it was finished.

End of chapter!

Less than 24 hours later, I got an email stating my CRC was ready and I could pick it up at anytime.  I needed Government issued identification.

When I finally did get around to picking up the form, about a week after this email, I waltzed into the station, approached the glass with my ID in hand ready to show.  But the same lady was working that day, she simply looked at me while I was still walking in the door, turned around and found my CRC, and slid it through the drawer even before I had reached the cage!  She waved away my ID!  I was in and out within 56 seconds, holding my completed CRC!

After all that fuss to drop off the CRC, picking it up was quicker than microwaving Pizza Pockets!

Thank you for reading!

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Craig MacLean, Copyright!