Hi readers…

Let’s talk about dignity, what does it mean to you? I’m curious…

Dignity means different things for different folks in different situations. For me, The DeafBlind & Ataxic Warrior, dignity is about open communication: telling me, or explaining, what’s happening in that situation. With respectful interactions and taking the time to explain what is what. Do not sugarcoat that explanation, nor dumb it down, and don’t walk away without a backwards glance!

When that happens, I feel upset, annoyed, aggressive. I am not empowered, but my power is taken away.

Here are three situations that are fresh in my mind…

Over last four months, I’ve had at least 12 to 15 physical and occupational therapy appointments at a prestigious clinic; understand this clinic is on the ground floor of a Long Term Care facility.

I always arrive supercharged, ready to go! Yet, in two hours I’m drained, strained, tired. A typical trip to the PT/OT clinic!

So, one rainy noon in mid October, I arrive an hour early for my session… I had planned this because I was way overdue in blogging! Somehow I work better and faster if the table is uncluttered.

My intervenor drops me off at 11:58 AM, I extract my walker from her trunk (…car not abdomen…) and entered the clinic’s first set of doors. Here I put on a mask and sanitize my hands, then I amble, nonchalantly yet purposefully, to the cafeteria, which is 20 steps from the place I need to be at 1 PM.

Ah, I think to myself, it’s empty! A perfect spot to blog…

Alas! Before I can even sit down, I was accosted by a young clipboard-carrying facility employee. That clipboard, and the security officer, gave me no reason to be comical.

The clipboard lady was inquiring; she was talking to me. I replied with my usual gesture: pointing to my ear and saying “Deaf…”

Undaunted, she lowered her mask and uttered some more, probably reiterating herself, maybe she thought I could lipread.

For my part, I did my own reiteration, with emphasis; “I am Deaf!”

Like understanding social etiquette, the young lady realized that I was not fibbing, I was Deaf. She needed a different approach (more ammo?), so she bustled out of the cafeteria, the security detail also exited, but stayed by the door.

A sense of foreboding came over me, like mould on 3 month old cheese, a challenge I’m guessing.

I’m now comfortably siting in an ugly clinic chair, my iPad is now open in front of me on that empty table, I unlock the iPad, click the Jetpack app. Rather than blogging, I swipe up from the left hand lower corner, and Quick Notes materializes.

“Is the facility in lockdown? I have an appointment at 1 PM at the PT clinic. I want to work here for the hour”

I swipe that note off the screen, and gaze at some very incomplete blogs… until…

The table was smartly rapped.

I looked up, recognized the clipboard, the young lady, and her shadow.

I also recognized the whiteboard, which was stuck under my nose like a Kleenex to a snot-invested nose.

I had unmasked to drink some coffee, but I guarantee my nose was clean!

Instead of reading her handiwork, I swiped the quick note into view, showing both of them, who read it quickly.

Equally speedily, she erased her original query and wrote a one syllable redirect: “Name?”

Now I was a tiny bit more bristling, but still a long way from dried paintbrush!

I challenged this terse question, retorting; “You have not explained why need a security guard to ask my name.”

Being a skilled typist, I typed this message while observing their reactions (I never look at the keyboard while I type).

The young lady seemed to be concerned, just-doing-my-job sort of expression. The security guard, on the other hand, was bemused, I think I detected a lopsided half-hearted grin on their face.

The shadow was already leaving the room as the young lady scrawled on that whiteboard “…need to check-in at front desk…”

Aha!

Crystal clearness was achieved! I was able to mentally connect the dots and came up with: “All visitors to this facility must check-in at time of arrival with the front desk receptionist.”

That caveat was never brought to my attention; not one person working at that facility told me, verbally or electronically, to check-in before I headed to my appointments.

After I put two & two together, I softened my approach, she’s just doing her job. I readily gave her my name. I saw her scan the clipboard, made a mark somewhere and then strode from the room. The shadow was already gone.

Freedom!

I still had about 45 minutes left to blog, Jetpack was still open, but instead, I rattled off an email to the booking receptionist.

In that email I asked if this check-in was COVID related or lockdown related. I also stressed that I felt disrespected that a staff member needed a security detail just to ask my name.

The receptionist apologized, my email went viral internally. I haven’t heard back from them yet.

The dignity in this situation was lost when a security officer joined the mission to find out my name. Instead, the young lady should have approached me alone. This has actually happened before, a receptionist has hunted me down, handed me a mask, and gestured towards the PT/OT rooms; yes I am going there. But, never has, in 15 visits, have I been told to inform front desk.

The security officer shadowing was an overkill! I use a walker, or power wheelchair, what do you think I could do? Steal a lunch tray? Get upstairs and never leave? Smoke someone’s cannabis? Haha!

Thank you for reading!