Recently I read on Facebook about a woman, let’s call her Lilith, who belittles a child who was excited about a bag of apples. The boy was jumping all over the place and very excited. Lilith saw that he was very excited and asked: “What’s wrong with you?” When the boy did not reply to her, his mother proffered: he could not talk. Lilith’s retort was judgemental, disdainful and hurtful: “No surprise, he can’t even walk into a store.”
I cannot clearly remember the article, but I believe the mom grabbed her son and left the store, sans the bag of apples. I recall that both mom & son were emotionally drained. If you can picture a balloon full of air, yet it gets a slow leak, and all air slowly seeps out. That is the what happens when someone passes judgement on another person.
This really annoys me!
How dare you, Lilith, to pass judgement on another person you have never met before!
In the Facebook status, the Mom made no mention, wisely, of how old her son was or if he is disabled in any way. All that was stated was the boy was very excited and jumping around for a bag of apples!
I have recently read or seen many examples of people judging others…
- a woman commented on a man’s tattoos.
- A woman on the beach told a friend of mine to stop breastfeeding her son. This happened on a public beach!
- People saying to themselves as they walk by my wife and I, “He must be drunk…”. At the time, I was ataxic from sitting for a long period, then suddenly losing balance while starting to walk.
- And then there is the Police Story, when someone thought I was drunk with a baby.
My wife –love her so much– has told me that people, wherever I go, make snide comments about my “drunken” walk, or my reading my phone 2 inches from my face, or my ability to trip over a grain of sand.
What gives you, Random People, the right to pass judgement on me? You have No Idea what I am going through!
“Oh he’s drunk!”
“He’s high as a kite in a March breeze!”
“You should wear glasses!”
“Hey, watch out! You almost walked into my kid!”
These are things these Random People probably say, I, being Deaf-Blind, am immune to your hurtful and judgemental comments. Luckily, or not!
But, my son’s are not! They can hear you pass judgement on me!
You, Random People, have no right to pass judgement on another person! Open your eyes and learn. Ask the right questions, “Why is your son so excited about a bag of apples?” is a lot better than asking “What is wrong with you?”. Finding out the story behind the tattoos is better than taking them for face value. Breastfeeding anywhere is a right, and should not be hidden away in bathroom stalls!
I am Deaf-Blind with Ataxia, my life is inimitable! I am freaking unique! I don’t fit any definition of Normalcy found anywhere in any dictionary!
You who pass judgement on me, or anyone in particular, should not be asking “What’s wrong with you?” but instead, “What’s wrong with me? Why am I judging this person based on two minutes of observation?”
Thank you for listening!