Five-Star Disability

Hi everyone:

Remember I have CAPOS, Cerebellar ataxia, Areflexia, Pes Cavus, Optic Atrophy and Sensorneural Hearing loss.  A jolly good time eh!

But I do look “normal”, it is my actions that tell a different story.

One of the silliest things people ask me 4is “Can you read lips?”  I have several answers to that:

– I am sorry, you are not my type.

– No, and I can’t read Urdu either.

– Yes! I love Red Wine, leave the bottle!

– No, can you read ASL?

This error doesn’t happen too often these days, because most people see the white cane, and put two and two together: “He can’t see, reading lips is impossible.”  Good job!

People do different, sometimes, things when they see my White Cane.  I am walking (swish swish)  and people respond in funny ways:

– They try to beat me to the stairs by doing a “Jack be Nimble” prance, a quick two step to get in front of me like I have something contagious.

– They stop walking in the middle of the path, and get mad at me when I bump into them.  To retort their profanity, which I obviously cannot hear, “Yes I am blind!”

– I have had people actually stop and stare with jaws on the floor dumbfound-ness that is out of this world!

– I have had people, mostly children, come up to me and try to take the white cane.  Ahh, no, this is not a toy!

– And then there are people who try to help by yelling at me such things as “CAR!” (Thank you, I see the Jetta just fine), or “Watch the GAP!” (Thank you, but that is not a gap, and yes I’ve ridden the Tube.) or, my favourite: “WATCH OUT!” (Watch out for… what?).  All this yelling and I cannot hear you anyways, you might as well help the brick cross the street.

Now, I have notice that I can meander (I’ve always like that word) a lot, like I could not walk a straight line to save my life.  I have been accused of being a Bull in a China shop, but I prefer an unchoreographed rhino in a Chinese teashop (I can’t be a bull, I only have one White Cane). The things I have nearly hit, or hit, include:

– Cars, I’ve hit a few

– bookshelves

– trees

– fences

– chairs

– walls, especially Glass

– those small “wet floor” signs, I’ve actually kicked a few like a soccer ball

– blenders, glasses – often full of some hot liquid, a hit a fire hydrant before, and a few doors

– my favourite is walking into mirrors!  “Hey, sir, can’t you see I’m walking here!  Hey! Move!  Outta the way!”, then, sheepishly,”I hope no one saw that…”

I drop almost every other thing, and most of the time is food that I drop.  “Opps, there goes my sandwich!”, or “Two second rule, grab the donut!”.

If I’m leaning over, I am likely to keep going that way, and that is down, which is counterproductive when I need to stand up!  I’m not imbibed, stoned or dumb, just being me!

These are something that are fun to share, I hope you like what I had to say!

Enjoy life, you only have one!.