Remember I have CAPOS, Cerebellar ataxia, Areflexia, Pes Cavus, Optic Atrophy and Sensorneural Hearing loss. A jolly good time eh!
But I do look “normal”, it is my actions that tell a different story.
One of the silliest things people ask me 4is “Can you read lips?” I have several answers to that:
– I am sorry, you are not my type.
– No, and I can’t read Urdu either.
– Yes! I love Red Wine, leave the bottle!
– No, can you read ASL?
This error doesn’t happen too often these days, because most people see the white cane, and put two and two together: “He can’t see, reading lips is impossible.” Good job!
People do different, sometimes, things when they see my White Cane. I am walking (swish swish) and people respond in funny ways:
– They try to beat me to the stairs by doing a “Jack be Nimble” prance, a quick two step to get in front of me like I have something contagious.
– They stop walking in the middle of the path, and get mad at me when I bump into them. To retort their profanity, which I obviously cannot hear, “Yes I am blind!”
– I have had people actually stop and stare with jaws on the floor dumbfound-ness that is out of this world!
– I have had people, mostly children, come up to me and try to take the white cane. Ahh, no, this is not a toy!
– And then there are people who try to help by yelling at me such things as “CAR!” (Thank you, I see the Jetta just fine), or “Watch the GAP!” (Thank you, but that is not a gap, and yes I’ve ridden the Tube.) or, my favourite: “WATCH OUT!” (Watch out for… what?). All this yelling and I cannot hear you anyways, you might as well help the brick cross the street.
Now, I have notice that I can meander (I’ve always like that word) a lot, like I could not walk a straight line to save my life. I have been accused of being a Bull in a China shop, but I prefer an unchoreographed rhino in a Chinese teashop (I can’t be a bull, I only have one White Cane). The things I have nearly hit, or hit, include:
– Cars, I’ve hit a few
– walls, especially Glass
– those small “wet floor” signs, I’ve actually kicked a few like a soccer ball
– blenders, glasses – often full of some hot liquid, a hit a fire hydrant before, and a few doors
– my favourite is walking into mirrors! “Hey, sir, can’t you see I’m walking here! Hey! Move! Outta the way!”, then, sheepishly,”I hope no one saw that…”
I drop almost every other thing, and most of the time is food that I drop. “Opps, there goes my sandwich!”, or “Two second rule, grab the donut!”.
If I’m leaning over, I am likely to keep going that way, and that is down, which is counterproductive when I need to stand up! I’m not imbibed, stoned or dumb, just being me!
These are something that are fun to share, I hope you like what I had to say!
Enjoy life, you only have one!.